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Meet the team
Say hello to your dedicated band of experts and professionals


Joseph M. Bennett
Founder, Director and CEO
Funny, handsome and humble, Joseph is our benevolent founder who makes all the big decisions yet somehow always has time for his underlings. He's such a good writer that he no longer does any of the writing himself, instead palming it off onto his subordinates then taking all the credit.
A true rags-to-riches phenomenon, when he’s not being kind to his employees or fielding questions from the paps about JMB Copywriting, Joseph loves nothing more than being a fun boss, incessantly forcing team-building activities on his tired staff then making them fill out questionnaires about how much they enjoyed the experience.


Boseph Jennett
Senior Copywriter
Underpaid and overworked, Boseph writes for all of JMB's biggest clients and gets none of the credit. In the past he has been known for spreading vicious rumours about Joseph to get ahead and secure the top job, but these incidents have been sorted by HR and it’s fine now.
A true riches-to-rags phenomenon, when he's not nodding along at some client’s anecdote about their golfing trip or laughing sycophantically at Joseph’s jokes, Boseph loves nothing more than spending time with friends and being in nature, and sometimes even combines these interests!

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Jonett Benseph
Junior Copywriter
Jonett is proud to be JMB’s longest-serving employee, having started with the company in 1972. His work is quite poor but we assign him to the less prestigious clients and if anyone asks we just say Boseph wrote it and they leave us alone.
When he’s not shining Joseph’s shoes or laughing sycophantically at Boseph’s jokes, Jonett loves nothing more than spending time with his grandson and going on a walk in nature, and sometimes even combines these interests!
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José Bénitier
Chef
José hails from sunny France, but sadly couldn’t bring the weather with him! His knowledge of gourmet is unmatched in the Western hemisphere, and he's proud to serve scrummy homecooked meals in the JMB canteen where staff can catch up on the latest news, trends and gossip, or just have a bloody good laugh.
When he’s not delivering culinary excellence on a daily basis, José enjoys dining at upmarket restaurants, where you can find him being needlessly rude to waiters and kitchen staff alike!


Jay Bentos
Assistant to the Chef
Jay boasts decades of experience in the world of food. His experience doesn’t necessarily equate to much ability, but he famously loves a pie, and is very talented at the washing-up. José will even occasionally unshackle him to mop up a spillage on the canteen floor.
Jay is a lovable rogue, forever pouting and throwing gang signs, and he's renowned for doing cheeky impressions of colleagues! When he’s not aggressively going at the pots with a scouring pad, you’ll find Jay cruising the town for the local talent.


Nettseph Benjo
HR Manager
He's far too modest to tell you himself, but Nettseph is something of a guru when it comes to humans, relations, and even managing these relations! He is very talented at filling out P45s and breaking up the various fights that erupt in the canteen.
Nettseph is a very kind man, and enjoys nothing more than doing good deeds as he stalks the corridors of JMB. When I asked him his hobbies for this bio, regrettably he did end up attacking me, but the incident was sorted by HR and it’s fine now.


Joben Sephnett
Health and Safety Officer
Joben is a highly qualified expert in the field of preventing accidents in the workplace, such as spinning too fast on one’s chair and plummeting to Earth. He is responsible for the health and indeed safety of every member of staff at JMB, and under his jurisdiction there have been only 3 fatalities since he joined in 2024.
Outside his important 9–5 job, Joben is a respected member of his parish council, where he gives up his free time to implement health and safety measures in the local area. Under his jurisdiction at the council there have been only 9 fatalities since he joined in 2024. When he’s not doing this vital work for the community, you can find Joben at the cinema catching up on the hottest flicks, or in a police interview regarding his involvement in the latest town tragedy.


Giuseppe Benedetto
Complaints Officer
Gisueppe hails from sunny Sicily, but sadly couldn’t bring the weather with him! He is very adept at fielding the many complaints JMB receive about Jonett’s shoddy work. Giuseppe is known for his violent outbursts and regrettably sometimes descends into fistfights with dissatisfied clients, but most of these incidents have been sorted by HR and it’s fine now.
When he’s not being a people person, Giuseppe is a certified mindfulness instructor, and has a rare gift for empowering people to deal with conflict in a constructive manner.


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No one’s quite sure who this team member is or how long he’s worked at JMB, but one thing’s for sure: he’s doing fabulous work for our valued clients.
When he’s not excelling in his chosen profession, you can find [insert name] knocking about the canteen snaffling leftovers when he thinks no one’s looking. He loves nothing more than engaging with his many hobbies and pursuing several pastimes, and sometimes even combines these interests!

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Squoseph Squennett
Employee Wellbeing Manager
Squoseph lives in a tree outside the office, and is an expert at boosting staff morale. One time he appeared at the window and everyone smiled and waved before Joseph yelled at them to get back to work. It's touching acts of kindness like this that make Squoseph such a valued member of the JMB team.
When he’s not gathering nuts or inexplicably remaining on the payroll, Squoseph loves nothing more than spending time with friends and being in nature, and sometimes even combines these interests!


Senjo Bephnett
Dogsbody
Senjo’s sunny disposition and can-do attitude bring a smile to all he meets! He is responsible for performing a wide range of soul-crushing menial tasks at JMB, and happily works 18-hour shifts without a break. Regrettably he is regularly subjected to bullying in the workplace, but most of these incidents have been sorted by HR and it’s fine now.
When he’s not looking ahead to his bright future at the company or lamenting the fact he’s less valued here than a squirrel, you can find Senjo a quivering wreck in the corner of the office, or just kickin' back with pals!
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